Are you expecting a baby? Do you already have one? Are you just reading this because you have nothing better to do? Well, hello! As a pregnant (and a bit anti-social-depending on the mood) lady about to pop any minute now I can tell you I’ve heard one thing over and over during my pregnancy, a phrase that I really grew to absolutely hate!
“Enjoy being pregnant, once the baby is out you’ll miss the feeling!”
And I kept wondering for months… “Why?” Don’t get me wrong I had a quite pleasant pregnancy so far. Minor issues, minor discomfort, “normal” mood swings (by normal I mean noone had to die-yet) and yes, I am a person that would for sure miss weekends in Disneyland or a great steak but why would I miss 9 months of pregnancy??? Anyway, to all these people that gave me this “advice”, I have to say the following:
You might be right! I might not see it right now, maybe I’ll see it once the baby is here. Also, this post is not meant as ranting to you or anyone else for that matter, it’s written all in good fun, I promise! (Mum, don’t get mad, I love you!) =)
But… This lil “advice” triggered me wanting to share with you what I will NOT miss about being pregnant! Sit tight! It’s coming!
1. Am I supposed to eat/touch/smell/look/hear that?
Seriously, unless this is not your first baby, you have absolutely NO clue what you are supposed to do till you ask/talk to your doctor. Of course you can check online, as we all do, to read that you should “do” that, or not “do” that very same thing, or absolutely “do” that thing, or maybe just “do” that thing till X weeks pregnant, or “do” that thing only if it’s the last Friday of an odd numbered month with a full moon. I wish I was kidding…
2. Can you tell I’m pregnant or do I just look fat?
You know, these days, during the 1st trimester, where you don’t really fit in your old clothes or if you do, you are not comfortable enough but you are not yet prepared or big enough for maternity clothes? Well, I do! My poor husband had to be dragged through I don’t know how many stores, trying to help me find a couple of comfortable pairs of trousers for a trip that were about to take, which resulted in him being desperately annoyed (but sweet) and me crying in the car “I’m not pregnant, I’m just fat!”. (I was/am both xD)
3. Let’s do shots!
I did so many during my pregnancy! I had these tiny little bottles of magnesium that I needed to take every night, no better way to get them down (gosh the taste is awful) than to yell “Shot, shot, shot, shot” before. Those were some wild parties I was having there, believe you me! (I’ve since switched to pills that are tasteless)
4. I’ll take mine rare, please!
I DESPISE well done meat and I HATE myself for having to eat it well done! Each time we were out and a waiter would ask me how I’d like my meat, I was about to burst into tears! I think the first thing i’ll eat once this baby is out is a rare steak, and camembert! and sushi! and smoked salmon! and pâté! and I will just throw some unwashed vegetables in there (even though ew!) just to prove a point!
5. I swear this used to fit me yesterday!
It really did! And I am not talking about clothes only, but also shoes! You know, I don’t even fit in my UGGs! Like, come on! Oh! And my favorite pair of Tommy Hilfiger boots? They are even one size bigger (for thick socks’ sake!) so they do fit my feet but I can’t zip them up! #KillMeNow!
6. No, more doctor appointments and CTG scans!
And don’t even get me started with the “Good morning, please pee in here!”. Seriously, being plugged on this machine, for 30 freaking minutes, laying on the most uncomfortable “bed” and in the most uncomfortable position (yes, I know I will not move or you’ll lose the damn pulse again) has been one of my worst nightmares! And now imagine doing that, early in the morning, when you were laying in bed all night and everything still hurts you!
7. The “sock struggle”
Can’t. Bend. Enough. To. Put. On. Socks. Please. Send. Help!
And it’s the same for non slip-on shoes or boots and praise the Lord for professional pedicures!
8. Hmm, can’t sleep on my belly?
I think this might be one of the biggest things I’m looking forward to. Sleeping on my belly! At the begining of the pregnancy, I asked my doctor if I should sleep any differently because you know… you read about stuff and they tell you about stuff, she laughed and told me “Sleep as you like now that you can”. Around the 2nd trimester it started getting very uncomfortable sleeping on my belly (or my side or my back for that matter), so even though I still miss it very much right now, I can tell you I did appreciate these first months that I was able to do it without freaking out about squeezing any baby!
9. Oh I can grab that from the floor myself… oh it seems… not!
I used to be able to bend down to pick up stuff, now I need to get down, can’t bend with that belly. And then… It’s like “Oh you chose to get down, well, this is where you’ll stay till someone picks you up!”. I also suspect that my husband is throwing stuff on the floor on purpose to see how long it’ll take me to ask him to pick them up. There was a post-it note in our hallway for three days, no way he hadn’t seen it!
10. No, sorry, my baby doesn’t have a calendar in there with its due date circled, she will come at her own convenience.
That was something inspired by my best friend yesterday. Poor thing, she asked me if I gave birth already since the day before yesterday was my “due date”. And yes, I did tell her that the baby has no calendar in there (where would she hang it?). The same would go to my doctor I guess that saw me yesterday morning and asked me “Still no baby?”. Why would I be there if I’ve had the baby? To bring you guys coffee?
And, extend the above to questions of the genre:
“Is it a boy or a girl?” (That’s a fair question to be honest but it annoyed me to no end till I found out xD)
“What will you name him/her?” (We want to go with Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, but we might be considering more options in the future)
“Do you think she will get her father’s eyes?” (Well, I hope not, he needs them as he is the only driver in the household)
“Do you think she’ll get your hair?” (No, I’m hoping she will be able to grow her own)
And there’s more, so I won’t spoil you any further as I’m really considering a whole post for them!
So, here’s my top 10 things that I will NOT miss about being pregnant. As you see I didn’t go into specifics such as morning sickness or swollen feet etc, I tried to keep it as general as possible. Were/Are you pregnant? What will you not miss about it? Let me know on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram!
Oh wait… Sorry, that’s my belly….!?